Monday, February 1, 2016

Do All the Exercises! Eat All the Things!

Since fantastic husband was off today I was able to get up early and head over to the box for 0515. I love working out before dawn. It's like it isn't really happening, or something. Your body forgets about it during the course of the day. I forgot how much I used to love watching the sun rise on the way home from the gym. It's gratifying to know you've accomplished something difficult before most people are awake.

The workout this morning was hard. Good hard, though. I don't know that I enjoyed it while it was going on, but I felt good about doing it. Got to see some of my favorite gym people, too, so that was a win. I think this might be the first WOD that I loaded a bar above my bodyweight for the workout. My max is well above my weight, but I don't usually put that much on for a workout. Lack of confidence I guess.

Before heading out at Oh-Dark-Thirty, I had a little bit to eat. Call it pre-breakfast. Ezekiel toast with sunbutter and a couple of clementines (coffee, duh).

Decent fuel.

I used my new gloves for the first time today. They worked extremely well. No tearing, no blisters. Perfect. Go ahead and call me a pansy, my hands aren't bleeding, and that's all I care about.  After the workout I did some GHDs (ever in pursuit of that 6-pack) and headed home to eat again.

No berries, 'cause I had fruit before the workout.

I annihilated this breakfast. I was so hungry. After eating fantastic husband and I went out for a slow 6. It was a perfect morning for a run. Since we had that stupid rain yesterday there was a slight sheen of ice and frost on everything. Road crews laid some salt and the sun was melting things a bit, but the footing was a little dicey in spots. Fortunately I was slated for an 11min/mile pace so it wasn't like I was biting into the pavement or anything. I even had one of those golden miles I love so much. Hit my stride, everything working together, effortlessly moving down the's the best thing. The best. 

I got home with about 10 minutes to spare before needing to leave for yoga, so I snatched some food out of the fridge, grabbed a FitAID, and hopped in the car. 

Yellow pepper and string cheese.

I, uh, didn't have time to cut the pepper, but it's really fun to eat a pepper this way. Feels weird at first, but the side eye from other drivers is hilarious.


Got to yoga just on time and flopped down on my mat for some core work and stretching. I actually did all the vinyasas. Surprising since the WOD this morning involved 70 chest-to-bar pullups (I use bands, but whatever). We did a lot of wonderful hamstring stretching and spinal twists, which I desperately needed after deadlifting. 

Then I took my 3-workouts-sweaty self to Costco. In my robot leggings. And crunchy hair. People looked at me. I hope they couldn't smell me...I could smell myself and I was rank. At any rate I got the stuff I needed quickly and hustled out of there so I could eat again. And you know, bathe. I added a 1/2c of chickpeas to this mostly because I was supposed to have a legume and I didn't feel like eating hummus.

Leftover Pad Thai. Always better the second day.

Then I showered. It was bliss. Then back into round 2 of gym clothes.

I like this shirt. I wish it came in more colors.

I felt I earned a slutty cookie.

You're a dirty, dirty whore.

I read for a while, and knitted for a while.


This shit is going to take forever.

We went to retrieve the children. Then we got the mail. I got some clearance activewear (someone stop me, I have a sickness). AND THIS!

It fucking came! The Sweary Coloring Book!

Then I ate again.

Mango and seeds and shit.

Took the kids to the box for CrossFit Kids and since I had 30 minutes to kill I tried my hand at barbanging in the back of the gym. I did some squats. Pretty light, just trying to remember good form. I got a nice lecture on form from Grant, and I think I did okay. I at least realized when I started fucking up. It was a good way to spend the time while the kids were working out. Productive anyway.

Bit by bit, I will build the machine.

We came home to supper waiting. Leftover pork and half a sweet potato for me.

There was more, I started eating before I remembered to photograph.

And now I'm watching Jeopardy and picking at a bowl of berries.

Because that is how old people roll.

School was already called off for the morning. Which is fantastic because I have a gynecologist appointment and it's fun to take kids to the ladyparts doctor. As long as daycare stays open (pray for me if you do that, can't hurt) it'll be okay, but my yoga plans are totally blown. Sad, that.  Guess I'll just foam roll and stretch out on my own. If we only get 3 inches of snow I'm going to laugh...and then I'm going to write a letter to the superintendent. 

Something tells me I'll be asleep before 8:30pm.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Sunday Funday

I got to sleep past 7am this morning. That's pretty fucking great. Since I was a big girl and did my laundry yesterday I didn't have much to do today besides eat and work out.

I did renew my license plates. Without fantastic husband nagging me. Not to brag, but they don't expire until tomorrow, so I was totally ahead of the game. I consider plate renewal a kind of sport. Much like speeding. It's me against the man, with only my wits and his laser gun. I dodge, I hide, I tap the break and coast to the speed limit. I look non-descript so you don't notice my 2 years expired out of state plates.  Last year I made it until June before renewing, and then only because I had to cross a few states for a wedding and didn't want to get stopped by some FIB with an out of state fetish. And I may also have some unpaid tolls and parking tickets in Illinois. Or not. Definitely not.

Anyway, I did the grown-up thing. I also paid the mortgage. Who's sexy now?

Breakfast was oats n' stuff. I mixed in some protein powder just to get a protein serving in.

Berries n' almonds. Stuff.

I cast on a beaded shawl. That shit is going to be some delicate, painstaking work. I have 4 months to complete it. That might be pushing it.

I ate.
Uh, some orange stuff.

I ate some more.

Do you want to eat the Mango?

I was feeling a little Blerchy.

We went to the Team WOD. I was working the pirate angle pretty hard.


The Team WOD was actually 4 WODs stacked one on top of the other. So, um, tiredmaking. Also hungrymaking. I was fucking ravenous by the time we got home. So I ate...again. 


I definitely earned a slutty cookie.

The dog? Did not.

I read a book and shot the breeze with fantastic husband, and then I went to yoga. It was a good flow tonight. Fast. Got my heart rate up and some really great deep stretching which I desperately needed. Then it was home for Paleo Pad Thai. 

This is my favorite favorite.

I missed a fruit serving, so I'm having a bowl of grapes. Then it's spawn washing time. I should probably shower myself. I'm pretty disgusting.

Crunch and delicious.

Early to bed so I can be up for the #fiveonefive, then a slow 6 with fantastic husband (provided the world isn't iced over in the morning) followed by hot core yoga.  I'm going to make use of the CF kids time by doing some squatting. It's an experiment. We'll see how it goes.

I was hungry for every meal and snack today (except the grapes, but it's kind of like dessert and who is every really hungry for dessert?) That's exciting stuff. My metabolism, it wakes. Look out.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

I'm Hungry!

I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I want to shout if from the rooftops! JFC, that sounds incredibly stupid, doesn't it. This is big news, though! I was actually hungry for my scheduled meal like 3 times today!

Since we were going to the box for the free WOD at 0815, I set my alarm for 0615 figuring I could get up and have a cup of coffee before the spawn awoke.  Nope. I had company telling me he loved me and coughing in my face at about 0550. He's cute and he give good hugs, though, so I let him stay. They all decided they wanted cereal, so I made them get dressed (it's always a fight if I wait until after breakfast) and went downstairs to get the sugar-whoozits out of the cabinet for them and start prepping my own meal.

I had the usual, and I actually wanted to eat it.

I was so hungry. This was perfect.

We made it to CFGB with a little time to spare, so I got to shoot the breeze for a while when I should've been foam rolling. I tried out my clearance lulu pants. These are supposed to make you feel "held in". They are seamless, high waisted, and have compressive panels that are supposed to support muscles at strategic points. The fabric is fairly thick, and they are bouncy as fuck. I'm totally going to wear these things for squatting, and I'm really glad I got 2 pairs on clearance when I did. They're all gone now, unfortunately. $118 pants marked down to $39. So much win.  Also size 8. Just had to throw that in there.

Thick enough not to discolor from sweat.
It's a concern.

So we did all the things, I did some GHDs, then I loaded up the kids and came home. As they have no sense of time, they started asking for lunch. It was 0930. WTF. 

I was sort of hungry at that point (CRAZY I KNOW!), but I wasn't in the mood to do much prep so I made a protein shake. I've tried to avoid turning to "medical food" as it were during this process, since convenience food can be such a shitty trap to fall into. Bars, pills, shakes, drinks...they have their uses, but I feel really strongly that extensive supplementation isn't necessary for a low-level athlete like myself. I'm trying to learn to eat for fuel through this process, and just switching from Luna bars to Larabars isn't really the point. 

Anyway, this is a chocolate protein powder-almond milk-sunbutter-oatmeal shake. It was delicious and filling. Before 10am. Because that's when it's appropriate to drink a big ol' chocolate shake. Try explaining this bad boy to small children. "No's not dessert...Mommy's in the window of gains"


I made lunch for the spawn and started in on my laundry. As I've mentioned before, I have a shitload of workout clothes. I haven't done laundry in about 2 weeks. That's a lot of scrubs and tech. I had three loads of sports bras and leggings and tank tops and scrubs. Good news is now all my favorite underpants are clean.
None of these things are underpants.

It wasn't until after 1pm that I was ready to start making lunch. Good news is I did want it. I spent a little time hacking apart a big filet of salmon from Costco and bagging 3-4 servings with lemon oil and seasonings. One bag in the fridge and 2 in the freezer. Should be good for a week or so. I hadn't had asparagus in a while, so I picked that up at Costco, too. Big pile here with some mango on the side. Baked in the toaster oven. I will never steam asparagus again. 


I didn't want my snack, but I ate it anyway.

Roasted red pepper hummus.

The kids spent a large portion of the afternoon tramping around in the snow, so with luck they'll be unconscious quickly when bedtime draws near.  They worked the dog out pretty well, not that you can tell with a psychotic Vizsla. She's out back right now barking at gods-know-what.

Dinner tonight was leftovers. Kielbasa, corn, and pears for the kids, sub snap peas and half a sweet potato for me. Easy to toss together, and they love these kielbasas. Clean plates, happy mommy.

Lazy, yes.

Now I'm just sitting around, waiting for fantastic husband to come home. I'm trying to slow my roll on The Expanse series. I'm almost done with book 4, and book 5 is the last one currently published. I'm not ready to say good-bye to Jim Holden et al yet. The problem with being a fast reader...books are over far too quickly. I've decided to take on a couple of big knitting projects this year. A large beaded shawl that I want to finish before we leave for our anniversary trip so I can wear it over a dress and feel fancy pants, and a monthly "knit-a-long" blanket with yarn from one of my favorite dyers. Each month I get a skein and part of the pattern. At the end of the year I'll have an afghan. My sock club isn't running this year as the designer is going on an extended trip, so this will be my substitute. I'm looking forward to it. 

Yes. I read and knit for fun. I'm pretty much 90. Get off my lawn.

In a couple of hours I'll have a snack. What I've come to think of as my dessert. I might actually be hungry for it, and that would be exciting.  


Tomorrow we'll take the fam back to the box for the Team WOD at noon. These have been fun the last few times, so I'm looking forward to it. Monday I even get to go to the #fiveonefive which is exciting for me because it's been weeks since I've seen my early morning people. Also I'll have the time to do a little squatting afterwards, and I have a slow 6 that needs to happen at some point during the day. Getting the WOD out of the way early frees up a lot of time later. 

Hmmm...if I shoehorn that run in around 8am I can make yoga at 10 and be done for the day before noon. Here's hoping the weather gods are with me so I don't have to do 6 at 11min/mile on the fucking treader.

There's still a lot of slutty cookies in the kitchen. Seems like I may earn one tomorrow.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Defying the Laws of Physics

My celebrity crush, Neil deGrasse Tyson, was on The Nightly Show Wednesday night. He was refuting a rapper's assertion that the Earth is flat. It was epic. I would be totally fine with NdGT showing up at my house to talk science to me with his biceps and his swag. I could give a shit that he's 57 years old. Dude has game. 
Mic. Drop.

Maybe he'd be able to explain my results from the last two weeks, because I am in (happy, ecstatic) disbelief.

Today was my first follow up with Kirk the Nutrition Guy. The pre-appointment stuff is the same, as we'll do a BIA (bioimpedence analysis) at every visit. No exercise for 12 hours prior. Fasting for 4 hours. No caffeine on day of appointment. No alcohol for 24 hours prior.

Basically I showed up hungry and uncaffeinated. I'm not so pretty in that state. I was wearing leggings as pants, however.


I did stop on the way for a large dark roast. I couldn't drink it until after the BIA, but that just meant it was the perfect drinking temp. Nutrition Guy laughed at me. By the time we were all finished with the metrics I was thinking lustful thoughts about this coffee.

My precioussssss.

So how did I do? Well, my weight was essentially the same (up 0.4lbs), and my measurements were basically the same. Even after spending 2 weeks eating damn near twice what I normally do, no change in weight. My BMI was slightly higher as a result of the slightly higher weight. These two things should now prove to you that BMI and weight are stupid numbers that don't tell you anything like the whole story.

Here's the exciting bit. My total body water was up, a good thing as it means my hydration status is better. The balance from extracellular to intracellular is shifting, and that's good. Extracellular water is what makes you feel puffy, intracellular is what makes your cells work at peak efficiency. Nutrition Guy says as this process completes and my body starts to operate at peak hydration, my measurements will change.  More exciting? My body fat percentage dropped by 2%. TWO PERCENT in TWO WEEKS. Partially because I am a higher percentage water and partially because I also GAINED 1.3 POUNDS OF MUSCLE. In TWO WEEKS!  Holy. Shit. This is proof positive that I was previously underfed. My poor little muscles just glommed on to all these new calories and went fucking bonkers on them. So in spite of the scale changing NOT AT ALL, my body composition changed just two fucking weeks of solid, consistent nutrition. 

The diet industry lies. It is absolutely not all about slashing calories. Nutrition Guy asked how I felt about my weight, and I reiterated that I don't give a fuck about the number on the scale. I was so happy with my numbers today. I told him about the food baby issue and feeling like I was force feeding myself, and that I felt like it was resolving slowly. I'm given to understand that this response is normal. I stuck to my servings and my food list (sounds funny to say that, it's the same shit I always ate except now I don't eat bananas) 95% of the time and the results were so phenomenal that my motivation is extremely high to continue. I also really want to lift all the things. Because in conjunction with all this food, that shit is working. 

We spent some time discussing the timing of meals in relationship to workouts, and it turns out that I've been doing the preparatory eating like a boss but sort of neglecting the recovery eating. That will be my focus during this next time frame.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks. All my workouts are planned, and I'm ready to kick ass and take names. The scale and the BMI chart can go fuck themselves. I am on fire. 

By the time I got home I was ravenous. So I made some brunch. 

Eggs with veg, toast with sunbutter, and berries.

I ate it all and it wasn't hard. Hooray for progress. I did a little reading and then headed out for hot yoga, which was bloody perfect on this cold day. My legs are still fucked from 200 wallballs a few days ago, and I realized that when I miss a few yoga days my balance goes all to shit. Stupid vomiting sickness making me miss 3 days in the studio. I've got all my classes scheduled through February, though. On task and moving forward.

After yoga I went over to Dick's to look for some gloves. I always manage to tear my damn hands open at the box. Either doing pull-ups or snatching. And when I snatch I tear the webbing of my thumb and it hurts like a bitch. So I'm going to give these a try for high rep workouts. Wish me luck.

Please. Save my hands.

Once I made it home I had a snack. Bad thing about not starting to eat until 11am is the rest of the day gets sort of compressed. So much to eat! So little time! Then I did some weighted hip thrusts at 125# and some shoulder work to failure. It was...ouchy.

I didn't eat all this hummus, just about 1/4c of it.

I retrieved the spawn from school and got everyone home in record time. My plan was to take them out for supper. Mostly because I didn't feel like doing any more goddamn dishes. I ran the dishwasher 3 times yesterday, packed full. I already did one cycle today and the thought of unloading and reloading it again made me homicidal, so I decided to take the easy way out.

Going out means bathing and dressing in people clothes. Bummer. My stupid hair has officially reached "fuck it" length.  This is my "fuck it" clip.

It's small. I have thin hair.

This is my "fuck it" hair. It's pretty much how I looked 90% of my college career. 

Photographed in front of my "fuck it" bed and my "fuck it" nightstand.

So I loaded up the kids and took them to Mackinaw's. Which was packed to the rafters at quarter to fucking 5. We waited for 20 minutes for a table, and right as we ordered I realized that Golrusk, where the dogger was at Fun Camp, closes at 6pm on Fridays. Fuuuuuuuuccccckkkk. We got very lucky with our server, who was totally cool when I panicked in her face about being on a timetable. Food came out super fast, kids ate on a mission, she rang us up immediately, and we were out the door at 5:40. I tipped her handsomely as I remember waiting tables and if you go above and beyond, I will make sure you know I appreciate it.  We made it to Golrusk with about 8 minutes to spare. Whew.

The boys had a field trip today. They told me about it in animated fashion while we waited for dinner.

It was a puppet show. They demo-ed it for me.

Oh, here's what I had for dinner. Bison burger, sweet potato fries (I ate half of them), and veg. Always veg. Veg and veg and more veg.

Consumed in record time.

After my evening snack I will have gotten all my boxes today except one legume. Minor.  


I'm really excited to see what the next 2 weeks brings. The fact that I have these little check-ups is very motivating. Also motivating is the repeat lab work at the end of all this. I love that shit. I've always thought of myself as an experiment of one, and I so enjoy seeing the things I do daily reflected in hard data. 

Tomorrow I'll be hitting up the community WOD and probably getting a few miles on the treader. Fantastic husband is still conferencing, so I won't have the opportunity to get outside. February is more base building with a few pace workouts thrown in on my weekend long runs. I'll be shifting into the 6-9 mile zone for my daily runs, with another time trial in a couple of weeks. Weirdly, my during-the-week runs will be at an 11min/mile pace. I've spent such a long time shifting out of that zone, it feels counterintuitive to slow down. But it also felt counterintuitive to eat everything that's not nailed down, and that turned out pretty fucking great. 

Trust the process. It's my fucking mantra. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Two Weeks

Two weeks. That's how long I've been at this now. It's gotten a little easier. Still not easy most days, but it's not as uncomfortable as it was initially. And praise cheeses for that little blessing, because if I still felt the way I did 5 days ago? Yeah. I'd be preparing to start an epic slap fight with Kirk the nutrition guy. If I could have caught him, and considering I was a barge it probably wouldn't have worked out.

Fantastic husband is at a conference through Saturday and he left early this morning, so I'm flying solo with the spawn. Not long after he left this morning, C wandered down the hall and crawled into bed with me. I was laying on my side and he scooted up behind me and threw his arm and leg over me. It was cute as hell. Until he sneezed into my hair. Less cute.  A short while later P also found his way into my bed. I just heard a tiny voice say "Mommy? Can I cuddle with you, too?", and he crawled up on the other side. So instead of starting my morning with 60 minutes of bitching, I got to start it with 20 minutes of perfectly adorable...followed by 60 minutes of bitching. I'll take it.

I made breakfast, made lunches, and scuttled everyone out the door. Then I came home and made myself breakfast and organized my day. I was out of mushrooms, which is tragic, and had more than a handful of spinach left that was about to go over. So I said fuck it and just cooked all the remaining spinach with my eggs. Also sweet potato and berries. And coffee. Always coffee. I told nutrition guy that I'd limit myself to 2 cups per day, and I've been doing pretty well with that. The only time I deviated was when I was up for 30 hours. Now that I think about it, it still may have only been 2 cups in a 24 hour period.

I'm like motherfucking Popeye up in here.

Today's WOD was high(ish) burpee box jumps, muscle ups (which I can't do and have no desire to do so I do progressions), and a heavy clean and jerk.  Heavy is relative, of course, but I loaded up 95# which seemed safe. One of the coaches told me to up it by five for an even hundred "because it's cooler". So I said I'd give it a go. It actually went okay. I didn't shin myself and I had a couple of really good lifts. We also did some hollow rocks/superman holds and I worked on my handstand for a bit. I actually hit it pretty well a couple of times. I'm proud of myself. 

Unrelated except that I wore the shirt to CF yesterday-fantastic husband got me this shirt. It's super comfy and I think it's funny. He apparently showed this picture to a co-worker who didn't believe that I was his wife. Not sure what that means, but the story amused me. 

My arms look massive. They're really not that big, I swear.

I ran a bunch of adulty errands, including going to Costco for the eightieth time this month. You know what you have to buy when you eat a lot of food? A LOT OF FUCKING FOOD. I swear I've eaten about 100 peppers and 50 pounds of broccoli over the last 2 weeks. Also like $200 worth of out of season fruit. Oh well. It's all for the best. Why get paid a lot if you're not going to live well?

After I unloaded everything I made myself some lunch.

Chicken, chickpeas, and cucumber. Basic.

Then I did a little prep work for some schmancy Paleo baking. Then I picked up the kids from school and did the whole snack-homework-dinner prep dance.  I had a snack. Ezekiel toast with sunbutter and coffee with heavy cream.

That's right. Heavy cream. Gotta get all my calories, bitches.

Then shortly thereafter I had another snack. 

Get off me. You know how many boxes I gotta check?
A lot.

When we got home from school, my Paleo Samoas were on the oven cooling and waiting for their chocolate coating. Every single child, in succession, completely ignoring the answer I gave the previous child "Wow, those smell good! Who are they for?".  The answer I gave each child? "Not for you!" It's not that I'm averse to giving my children cookies, or that I don't want to share. It's that none of them will eat coconut, and I was damned if I was going to give them a (time consuming! expensive!) cookie only for them to nibble it and decide that they don't like coconut and/or dark chocolate. Invariably they've ruined whatever they're eating in the process of deciding they hate it, and since this recipe only makes 12-18 cookies (I got 18)? I'm not taking that chance.

Gods, these are incredible. Coconut cookie, caramel, toasted coconut, and chocolate. Sexy. I only ate 1, but one makes a lonely picture.

Samoas are the sluttiest cookie. #fact

I made dinner. If you're gonna be basic, be really basic. I totally had to force feed myself this dinner. I said it was getting easiER. Still working on it.

Chicken twice in a day. Ugh.

Later I will finish checking boxes with my standard yogurt-berries-and-chia-seeds.

Stock photo.

I got an odd letter the other day. It was from my Grandma's neighbor. Apparently she found some old pictures of me and thought I might like to have them.  It's throwback Thursday, so what the hell. July 1982, shortly before my 5th birthday (that's right, I was born in the 70s. Laugh it up, assholes). I think my aunt might have made this dress. Wasn't I an adorable child?

This is P's face. It's uncanny.

In other random "who cares" news: I sized down in Lululemon today. I ordered 3 pairs of pants, size 8, and not only do they fit but in one style I think I might need a 6.

Fuck me, I'm in single digits.

You know those crazy weight loss stories where the before photo is some chick who weighs like 400 pounds (or on TBL or whatever) and they show you the after picture and every goddamn one of them is all "OH EM GEE, now I'm a SIZE SIX!" and you think to yourself "Ain't no bloody way in fucking hell that bitch is a six."  No? Just me? Anyway, I find myself figuring that she must own like ONE THING that is a size 6, so she just tells everyone that that's the size she wears. It's not exactly a lie.

Well I have FOUR things in a size 8 (I also got a running dress) that fit. Therefore I am a size 8. And tomorrow I'm gonna wear the shit out of some size 8 leggings as PANTS. Because leggings are totally pants. 

Nevermind my favorite jeans are a 12. Details, details.